The Next Step....

Cade had a checkup today with his doctor here in Nashville, Dr. Mawn. It is crazy now, that I have to specify which doctor he is seeing-Waner, Fay, Nerad, Holland, Mericle, Mawn, Heil. Anyway, she told us that it looks as if the VM is becoming more apparent in both eyelids. The next step is to wait for another scan, which could be a CT, CTA, MRI, or MRA from Dr. Mericle who helped with the previous surgery in February. After assessing the imaging they will go back in and remove what they can. The process of removing this VM completely looks like it will be a long term thing.

I think the hardest part of the visit today was finally realizing that this is something we could be dealing with for a long time. Vascular malformations/venous malformations grow as the child grows, which explains the growth in both eyelids. The great part about all of it, is that what has been removed in the past has not returned! So we will take one day at a time, one procedure at a time, one doctor visit at a time.

The most important part about all of this is that we continue to work on the amblyopia. Cade's vision in his bad eye is 20/50. So we will continue to use the Atropine drops in the good eye so that he will use the bad eye. Yes, that is how we refer to his eyes, "good" and "bad."
So with the strength from the Lord we will continue on this journey and we will "wait." We know He is the great healer and He has taught us so much!

On another note, Cade has been awesome through all of this and his conversations with us have been so cute. In our last visit to Ohio they upped the dosage of his drops to 6 times per day. We made a sticker chart for him and he gets a sticker for every drop. At the end of the week he gets a big surprise. This past week we took him to the "pizza place." This weekend we are taking him to the zoo. He has done great and he is looking forward to seeing all the animals.
I do have to share one more moment from Cade this week. Every morning he goes to early care and he is in there for about an hour with kids his age and some older kids. Before the kids leave for their classrooms for the day, Ms. Anna takes prayer requests from the kids and prays. Today Cade's teacher told me that he raised his hand and asked to "pray for his eye." So he and his buddy Christopher held hands and they prayed together for his eye. This made my day and brought tears to my eyes.
Yes Cade, Jesus will take care of you and your eye. You are getting so big and you are one tough kid!! I know the Lord has huge plans for your life and I can't wait to see what He has in store for you! I love you so much and so sad that you have to deal with all of this at a young age, but we know the Lord is going to use you in mighty ways!!

My glass is FULL!

We just returned from a follow up visit for Cade in Ohio. We saw Dr. Holland again today and he wanted to make sure the eye was healing properly. It seems as if Cade's tissue is reacting to the graft that was placed in the eye a month ago and is inflammed. This can cause the tissue to melt the graft and the scarring to re-appear on the cornea. So our instructions are to continue with the steroid drops not 4 times a day, but 6! Wow..it was hard just getting 4 in a day, now 6? On top of that we have an ointment we have to use each night. We will return the first week in May and Dr. Holland will assess Cade in the O.R. He will check the eye pressure and if the tissue is still inflammed, he will give Cade a steroid shot to decrease the inflammation immediately.

So where am I in all of this??? Let's just say that I have had so much strength for four years as I dealt with stares, doctor visits, surgeries, procedures, paying doctor bills,etc. but it seems as though Satan is attacking me and my strength is becoming weak. I feel weak and I feel that I cannot go another four years of this. My glass is FULL! Yes, I realize there are many children who go through so much worse and visit the doctor everyday and I am thankful that our son is a healthy 4 year old, but this momma is tired!!! I am tired of watching Cade tremble every time we visit the hospital. I am tired of doctor visits. I am tired of the process we go through each time we have to hold him down to put drops in his eyes. I am tired of explaining to strangers why his eye is blue. I am tired of all the stares. I am tired of not knowing what surgery will come next and what state we will have to travel to next. I am tired of receiving medical bills in the mail every day! When will it be over???? Is this our life now??? My glass is almost spilling over.. (okay,a momma has to vent ever so often)

I know this is all Satan!! The Lord has provided me the strength that I needed every time. He has walked through each door before we even knew what door we were going to walk through. He has been my rock. He has brought me comfort on many occasions. He has carried Cade through every procedure successfully. Today I just feel tired, not physically, but emotionally I am spent. Days like these don't come often, but these are the days where I must completely surrender all!! "Come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest." Matt. 11:28 It is a promise. A promise kept by the ONE who tells us to leave our burdens at the foot of the cross and find rest in HIM! In the days ahead I will cling to that promise knowing that is where true rest is found..IN HIM!!! Thank you JESUS for a glass that is FULL! (did I just actually write that??)

Cade and Christopher

Most of you who follow my blog know that I have talked about Cade's buddy Christopher. They both attend school together and they absolutely love each other. Cade prays for Christopher every night. He asks about him each morning when he wakes up-he wants to know what class he is in for the day because Christopher only comes three days a week. He treasures this friendship so much and we are so thankful that he has this close friend.

Part of Cade's healing for his eye requires us to put drops in his eyes 4 times a day. So this means I go over during my lunch period to put the drop in his eye. Each day I get Cade off the playground and bring him in to put the drop in. Christopher always comes in with us and helps me. He holds the top for the drops and watches me put the drops in Cade's eye. It is so cute. Cade loves it and the teacher gives them both a treat. I think they both like that the best--HA!

Cade's birthday this year fell on a Wednesday. So I thought it would be great for Christopher to come home with us for a little while. Wow!! They had the best time. They both laughed at each other the entire time. We went to the playground, threw rocks in the creek, and had dinner at McDonalds. They were both so hungry. They each had a hamburger and chicken nuggets. It was so cute to watch them interact with each other!

Chris and I are so thankful for all the friends the Lord has blessed Cade with. He loves going to school and loves his buddy Christopher!!!

The river, Cade's birthday, and Easter

I have been such a slacker that last few weeks in blog world. We have been extremely busy since returning from Ohio. Cade has healed quite well and we are so thankful!
One of his favorite things to do is visit the river. Since we live quite close to the Harpeth, it is just a hop, skip, and a jump away. We decided to take him fishing also. I thoroughly enjoy to fish. My dad used to take us all the time growing up and I fell in love with it. Chris, on the other hand could care less about it.
We followed the trail down to the river and began to fish. Cade did it for about 5 minutes and then he wanted to throw rocks. I thought I had caught something there for a few minutes and then realized it was a rock! HA! Cade was not that interested..he has always loved just throwing rocks, so we did that for about 30 minutes.

The next Saturday we celebrated Cade's 4th birthday! He wanted a wrestling party (W.W.E. style). This year we only did the family thing. We had a great time. Some of his favorite gifts were the wrestling belt, his own fishing pole and tackle box, soccer goals, and a bike. We had a great time and the weather was awesome!!! I can't believe I have a 4 yr. old. He is growing up too fast!!!

This past weekend we celebrated Easter with my parents in Chattanooga. Cade had a special time with Nana and Papa as Chris and I went on an date. They took him to Chuck E Cheese and to get ice cream! He had a blast!! Cade had two easter egg hunts-one on Saturday and Sunday. Being the only child there is obviously no one to compete with finding the eggs. We had gorgeous weather all weekend and so thankful that Spring has sprung!!!

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Cade got through another successful surgery this morning. He was the first case this morning so we were in and out of surgery by 10. Chris and I spoke with both Dr. Holland and Nerad. They were not able to do everything as planned due to what is left of Cade's VM in his orbit area. We were somewhat surprised that there was enough left to hinder Dr.Nerad's part of the procedure, but we knew it was possible for it to return or it was left from the last surgery.
Dr. Holland successfully removed the scarring off the cornea and also separated some of the tissue from his eyelids. They did not have to take skin from his mouth and they did not have to put in a doughnut ring in his eye, which we were so thankful for! They were not able to put in the tear duct stint or mobilize the eye more than what it is now due to the VM. Both doctors were impressed by the complexity of Cade's VM and we talked for some time about a "long term plan." The good news is this VM will NOT affect his vision. It might be something he has for a while, but will not limit his visual access.
So what does this look like for Cade? Will he have more surgeries? When will we be through? Will this eventually be gone? The answers are not all quite clear to me now and I hope that we will have clarity in the months to come. I do know this: I know we will establish a long term plan once we return to Nashville. I know the Lord has led us to GREAT doctors. I know Cade is strong-we have thrown everything at him in 4 years and he has rolled with the punches! I know we serve a big God who is way bigger than all of this! I know He will continue to give us strength through it all!

Thank you to all of our family and friends for your continued prayers! We are thankful for the prayers of His people. My mom called me last night and told me we had friends in Japan, Mexico, and Peru praying for Cade! How cool is that?? We truly felt all of them! Thank you again!!

Right now, Cade is resting with his blanket, lion, bear, puppy, and some animal the hospital gave him--we are not sure what it is-HA! Safe to say, he is in good hands..

Love you All!!!

Bitter Sweet..

This time next week we will be in Ohio taking care of Cade after surgery. This happens to be our spring break, so that is why this spring break will be bitter sweet. His surgery is scheduled for next Tuesday, the 16th. We are praying for many things in regards to this procedure. Since we are dealing with new doctors and facilities, my worries have increased, not because of efficiency, but with how Cade will do in a new place.
I have spent the last two nights just praying for many things, Cade's fears, the procedures themselves, no profuse bleeding, doctors involved, Cade's pain afterwards, etc. My tendencies are to worry, it is how I sometimes prepare myself for what's to come. I know it is not healthy, and the Lord is teaching me everyday to leave these cares at the foot of the cross. As a mom, it is hard. I want to make things better. I want Cade not to be afraid. I want to make sure he is not in pain. I want to heal his eye. This is ALL out of my control and that can be hard at times. Again, it is during these times, the Lord chooses to exercise my "trust muscles." He has brought Cade through many surgeries, why should I doubt Him now?

Who knew that four years after Cade was diagnosed with a VM we would still be on this journey. It has been a long journey, but Chris and I would have it no other way. We have been blessed by Cade and his strength through it all and it has brought us closer to Christ in the midst of these difficult times. He has been that calm presence that surrounded us in the hospital room,the waiting room,the operating room, and in the doctor offices. I cannot tell you how many times I have been at peace as Cade would leave my arms and head toward the OR. I was scared for him, but I was at peace knowing that the Lord was holding him in the palms of his hands. So next Tuesday will not be any different. This surgery will follow the same format. We will be in constant prayer for Cade and his doctors-Dr. Holland and Dr. Nerad. We will pray for success and for a full recovery, and that his pain will be limited. I will try to post again sometime Tuesday after surgery.
We would so appreciate your prayers for Cade, Dr. Holland,Dr. Nerad, and the many surrounding nurses and staff working on Cade.
He is "our warrior" and one tough boy!!! He will do great!
Soi Deo Gloria!

A Tired Little Boy....

This is what happens when you have to get up at 6:00 a.m. and go to work with mommy early because she has a meeting at school, plus no nap today. I got off the phone with my mom this afternoon on my way home from school and knew Cade was awful quiet. I turned around and he was plopped over in his booster sound asleep. "He was worn slap out," as my mom would say. So cute!