My glass is FULL!

We just returned from a follow up visit for Cade in Ohio. We saw Dr. Holland again today and he wanted to make sure the eye was healing properly. It seems as if Cade's tissue is reacting to the graft that was placed in the eye a month ago and is inflammed. This can cause the tissue to melt the graft and the scarring to re-appear on the cornea. So our instructions are to continue with the steroid drops not 4 times a day, but 6! Wow..it was hard just getting 4 in a day, now 6? On top of that we have an ointment we have to use each night. We will return the first week in May and Dr. Holland will assess Cade in the O.R. He will check the eye pressure and if the tissue is still inflammed, he will give Cade a steroid shot to decrease the inflammation immediately.

So where am I in all of this??? Let's just say that I have had so much strength for four years as I dealt with stares, doctor visits, surgeries, procedures, paying doctor bills,etc. but it seems as though Satan is attacking me and my strength is becoming weak. I feel weak and I feel that I cannot go another four years of this. My glass is FULL! Yes, I realize there are many children who go through so much worse and visit the doctor everyday and I am thankful that our son is a healthy 4 year old, but this momma is tired!!! I am tired of watching Cade tremble every time we visit the hospital. I am tired of doctor visits. I am tired of the process we go through each time we have to hold him down to put drops in his eyes. I am tired of explaining to strangers why his eye is blue. I am tired of all the stares. I am tired of not knowing what surgery will come next and what state we will have to travel to next. I am tired of receiving medical bills in the mail every day! When will it be over???? Is this our life now??? My glass is almost spilling over.. (okay,a momma has to vent ever so often)

I know this is all Satan!! The Lord has provided me the strength that I needed every time. He has walked through each door before we even knew what door we were going to walk through. He has been my rock. He has brought me comfort on many occasions. He has carried Cade through every procedure successfully. Today I just feel tired, not physically, but emotionally I am spent. Days like these don't come often, but these are the days where I must completely surrender all!! "Come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest." Matt. 11:28 It is a promise. A promise kept by the ONE who tells us to leave our burdens at the foot of the cross and find rest in HIM! In the days ahead I will cling to that promise knowing that is where true rest is found..IN HIM!!! Thank you JESUS for a glass that is FULL! (did I just actually write that??)